How Many Times?
by Final Hikari
Summary: There were so many opportunities when more could have been said. Words waited to be spoken, truthfulness that was as resolute as it was tender, yet still so difficult to convey.


**_How Many Times?_**

The bridge was too dark and they were alone together – so peacefully there, together. Being there with him and seeing the determination his blue eyes was a respite in itself. It was willfulness that he couldn't muster on his own, though he could not tell anyone else how much he dreaded going to war against his own people.

"The faster we finish this war, the sooner peace will be restored to our land," Asbel said, naïve conviction portrayed in every word. "I'll do whatever I can to make that happen."

"Thank you," Richard said after a long pause. What else could he say to such kindly foolish notions? "Now come, Asbel. We have a battle to win!"

"And we will!" Asbel said as he smiled and nodded.

The blue of the knight's eyes somehow looked even brighter when illuminated by the moonlight. It would have been so easy to take a step closer, to say more. Yet instead, the invisible wall of obligations kept them apart.

Looking back, he could only close his eyes and wonder.

_Why?_

* * *

He's always nearby. From the moment they met up in the Barona Catacombs, he was always close enough to talk to, close enough to react if danger came, and close enough to remind the prince of what it was like to have an ally. If there was a moment in battle where one of the wandering monsters moved faster than the injured prince, there would be his knight to save him, without a moment of delay.

It was such a short period of time, but just like before, all of the time they spent together was ephemeral. It was still early in the morning when the prince strayed away from the manor to go down to the lake's beach. It was a serene view, especially when it was early enough for the waters to be perfectly flat. They reflected the colors of the dawn sky, painting both sides of the horizon with run and orange sunlight. There was a portion of the beach closest to Duke Dalen's residence that was guarded and kept separated from the rest of the public land for the sake of safety. Even so, when he glanced up, there was a certain redhead walking down the stairs.

"Good morning!" Asbel greeted cheerfully.

"Hello," the prince said with a smile. "You're certainly up early."

"It's usually the knight who should be up before the person they're protecting," he said as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

He was always so dedicated, even if he technically had no affiliation to the knights at that point. Truthfully, as they stood together there, they were both without titles. It was such a shame that the situation that could have promised fleeting normalcy was conquered by the urgency to reclaim those words and positions of strength.

"It's alright, this area of Gralesyde is very secure," Richard said, deciding it would be easiest to simply explain instead of delve into any complicated topics; it was scarcely the time for such things. "Since they have such a large standing army, their security regimens are also very tight."

"It seems like a nice place," he said as he looked down at the sand. "Sophie wanted to hunt for crabs here."

"She would probably find some," the prince said with a laugh. "Did you ever consider accepting a position as a part of Gralesyde's army when you were still training? They often recruit capable knights from Barona's academy."

"Nah, I always wanted to make it to the royal guard at the castle," Asbel replied, with the same kind, thoughtless truthfulness that made him so different than any other noble or knight.

Richard didn't reply immediately, but still smiled. It was ironic in a sad way; they may have been two individuals without titles that bound them to different places at that moment, but it was precisely for that reason why their obligations were greater than ever. Lengthy battles awaited them, but those simple, truthful words always made him dare to wonder if things could end in happiness.

It was a nearly naïve wish, especially with the conflicts that waited just later in the day.

Yet still, yet still – they were together at that moment. It was another chance to say words that should have been spoken but were not.

_Why?_

* * *

Sword clashes with sword, blades cut into flesh – what in the world was he doing? The thought passed through his mind as they fought, but it simply did not have enough strength to overcome everything that spurred his body into violent action. Simple thoughts were never enough to get him to stop anymore. He couldn't discern his own will from the mistrust and bloodlust.

There were still so many things that he should have been saying, but instead, all of the affection was drowned out in combat. It was there, it was still somewhere with him – the desire to be saved – he just couldn't discern where his wishes ended and where that other voice's began.

On his knees, with the bitterness of defeat mocking his every sense, one questioned remained.

_Why?_

* * *

**Author's Note**

While I was working on this, a thought struck me.

Asbel becomes the Lord of Lhant.

Which means…

Asbel is technically a politician.

And then I laughed hysterically.

Anyway. I hope some of you guys like it this one, though it's on the short side. OAO

The song "Why" by Ayumi Hamasaki inspired this one, it's actually quite good for this ship. It's hard to find a place to listen to the studio version online though. ( ╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Enjoy your week. ┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)

I will be back with a longer fic soon. (╯°Д°）╯︵/(.□ . \) I've been working on a longer fic with multiple chapters plotted with the wonderful Iniphineas. There will probably be a few more drabbles coming around before that gets posted though. XD


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